SETTING: GETTING THE DETAILS RIGHT

Before Darlene gets started, I'm going to interrupt this post to announce that Darlene Franklin's book A STRING OF MURDERS is a finalist in The Carol sponsored by ACFW! CONGRATULATIONS, Darlene!

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When a reader picks up a book, she enters into a silent pact with the author. I am willing to believe in your fictional world, as long as you make it real. Don’t say or do something that makes me remember this is just a work of fiction.

I was reminded of this while listening to the radio the other day. One DJ said, “I’m going to spend a week on the beach in Maine.”

If I had read that line in a book, the author would have lost credibility with me. Because I grew up in Maine, I know that while it has some beautiful beaches, most of its more than 2,000 miles of shoreline consists of a rugged, rocky coast. The same thing happened in a book where an author named a town in Colorado “Maple Gap.” A strange thing to name a place in a state where maple trees aren’t common. Other than that, the book was wonderful, but it made me wonder: does the author know her setting?

I even made the same mistake myself, misnaming the river that flows through San Antonio in my first book, Romanian Rhapsody. Oops. For every person who pointed out my mistake, ten must have noticed and lost a little faith in me as a writer.

How do you keep the reader in your fictional world?

• Get the physical details right. If possible, visit the place, so you can experience it with all five senses. Study it online, through books, first hand accounts. Talk with people who have been there.
• Get the words right. This applies mostly to historical novels. In my current work in progress, I discovered that “scat” was used in 1845, but that “squishy” didn’t appear until 1847. This also applies to fashions, machines, and items of every day life.
• Get the characters right. In my current WIP, my hero looks at the heroine, thinking she looks like an angel. I added a great punch line. “Satan was an angel of light, he reminded himself. Don’t let her looks lead you astray.” The problem? She has done nothing to suggest she will lead him astray, nor have I portrayed the hero as paranoid about women. I have to rethink that line.
• Keep the details consistent. If the heroine has green eyes in the first chapter, don’t change them to hazel in chapter ten.

I would love to see examples of setting in your writing. Send a paragraph or so description and let us savor a different time (if applicable) and place. Below are two snippets of my recently released book, Prodigal Patriot, a historical romance set in northern Vermont.

Josiah brushed at the mosquitoes that buzzed around any exposed patches of skin,
far worse here than in Maple Notch. Transporting Van Dyke to his home via Lake
Champlain had seemed like a good plan when Solomon suggested it. On the water,
Josiah wasn’t so sure. Every insect in two states decided to feast on them en
route. . . . .

Van Dyke guided them through milfoil and water chestnuts
toward the bank, where trees grew so dense Josiah didn’t see how even a fox
could squeeze through. The canoe glided underneath the cool canopy, the lake
only a slender line of blue through branches blurred by foliage.

Make Your Settings Count

The writing world is cyclic, just like everything else. Right now, the cautionary phrase on the tip of every critique partner’s tongue is show don’t tell. They’re right, of course. Showing draws the reader deeper into the story, and adds an immediacy to the reading experience. But many well-meaning crit partners often label narrative or exposition as telling.

Narrative is an integral tool that a writer uses to make the scenes come alive. Without good narrative the story isn’t grounded. So how do we make our settings come alive? We let the reader view the story’s settings through the filter of the POV character’s emotions, experiences and beliefs. Look at the examples below to see what I’m talking about.

Example 1
Catherine looked at her lovely childhood home. She saw the horribly neglected yard and remembered a happier time. Her feelings of despair almost overwhelmed her. She knew she would find a way to get through the next few weeks, but it wouldn’t be very easy.

In this example the setting is described in a cold and distant way. When I first began writing, I thought this example was good writing. It is good—but it could be great. Watch what happens when we delve into Catherine’s emotions and experiences

Example 2
Catherine peered out the car window at a past she never thought to face. Overgrown trees and bushes loomed down at her as she got out. She explored the once happy yard, games of tag and kick-the-can echoing in her mind. The familiar bench, half hidden by an overgrown wisteria bush, beckoned with promises of rest and peace. She shook her head. Peace would be hard to find without Tom beside her. How would she get through the days to come? A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She could almost hear Tom’s voice, “Work, my dear, it keeps the hands busy and the memories at bay.”

Do you see the difference? When we look at the setting through more than just Catherine’s vision it comes alive and resonates with the reader.

There are some things we can do to insure this kind of depth to our settings.

• Utilize the five senses. This will add depth to the scene.
• Tie the setting to a dream or a memory.
• Focus on the emotions your POV character is feeling and let that color how she sees her surroundings.

So next time you start to describe the setting in your story, slow down, take a good look at what your character is seeing and feeling. Then let the reader experience the setting through the character’s senses and emotions.